What It Really Takes to Shift Behavior in the Workplace

Many well-meaning L&D professionals still fall into the same trap: assuming that if we teach power skills, people will start using them.

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But here’s the reality:
Feedback. Conflict management. Coaching. Communication.
These are not skills people master by listening to a lecture or flipping through slides.

They require experience.
They require safe practice.
They require time, reflection, and feedback.

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Behavioral skills are not built by talking about them. They are built step by step, through a process that combines motivation, modeling, practice, reflection, and feedback.

Here is the real process behind strong power skills:

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Let’s break it down.

​Step 1: Motivation

Without a felt need to change, nothing shifts. If participants do not recognize the cost of their current habits, whether in missed opportunities, strained relationships, or lost effectiveness, they will not commit the mental effort required to change.

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The secret to creating this motivation starts long before the workshop. It begins with a thorough needs assessment. As facilitators, we need to step into the shoes of participants, understand their world, their daily challenges, and anticipate what could spark their motivation to try something new.

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For example, in a senior leadership development workshop we introduced the concept of the VUCA world (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous). This framing helped participants see that the environment around them had fundamentally changed. Once they recognized that yesterday’s habits would not equip them for today’s reality, they became far more open to choosing new behaviors.

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When participants see the gap between their current way of operating and the demands of their environment, they begin to understand not only why change matters, but also why it matters to them. That insight is the fuel that powers every step of behavioral learning.

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Step 2: See it Modeled

Participants need to witness what “good” looks like. A skilled facilitator can demonstrate the behavior or tool step by step, making it tangible. Sometimes this means showing a short video clip that illustrates the behavior in action, or simply pointing out a live example during the workshop.

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For instance, if a participant says something in a role play that perfectly reflects the skill being practiced, pause and highlight it: “What you just said is a great example of asking a clarifying question without judgment.”

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These real, concrete examples bring the abstract to life. They help participants build clarity and give them a mental blueprint to work from.

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Step 3: Try it Yourself

This is where most programs fall short. Awareness is not enough. Participants must experiment with the new behavior in a safe, low-stakes environment where mistakes are not just tolerated but welcomed as part of the process.

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I often remind participants: The first attempts will feel awkward, and that is not a sign of failure but a sign of growth.

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One of the most effective ways to do this is through role play. While many facilitators default to pair-based practice, research shows that group-based role play creates significantly stronger results when facilitated well.

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Backed by research:

• 13–25% improvement in soft skills performance (Adhvaryu et al., 2023)

• Significant behavioral change through group-based training (Kotsou et al., 2019)

The most powerful learning moment is when participants see the contrast between an old habit and a new tool in action. When the group feels the shift in energy, notices how body language changes on both sides of the conversation, and sees how effective communication tools transform the interaction, that is what convinces them it works. It also builds motivation to keep practicing (remember Step 1?).

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If you want to go deeper on this topic, here is an article I wrote: Group Role Play: The Most Powerful Learning Tool Most Facilitators Avoid.

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Step 4: Reflect

Reflection is one of the most powerful tools for learning. It gives participants the space to process what they just did and offer feedback to themselves before hearing from others.

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Research from a Harvard Business School Working Paper found that participants who engaged in structured reflection performed 20–25% better on subsequent tasks than those who did not (Gino & Pisano, 2014). Reflection strengthens learning because it boosts self-efficacy, the belief in our ability to succeed, which in turn improves performance.

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Prompt participants to self-assess first by asking:

• What did I do well?

• What could I have done differently?

• What should I try next time?

When participants articulate their own insights before receiving external feedback, they not only accelerate their awareness and build confidence, but also avoid anchoring bias. By reflecting first, they are less influenced by what others say, which allows their own perspective to surface more clearly. Only then do they compare it with external feedback, creating a more balanced and accurate view of their behavior.

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Step 5: Get Feedback

After participants reflect on their practice, they receive external feedback. This creates a powerful learning moment because it allows them to compare their self-perception with how others experienced them.

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Often there is a gap between the two. Many participants tend to be overly self-critical and are surprised to hear positive observations from peers. Others may realize they overlooked key blind spots. This creates what I call “double feedback”:

• Feedback on how well they applied the tool.

• Feedback on how accurate their self-assessment was.

It is a chance to ask: Am I being too hard on myself? Or perhaps too lenient?

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This “double feedback” can only work if the environment feels safe. The facilitator’s role is to make sure the participant who just practiced never feels criticized or exposed. Instead, the feedback must be supportive, specific, and developmental. Feedback that feels safe while still stretching them toward greater effectiveness.

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​If you want a quick tool for giving this kind of supportive input, here is a short read: How to Give Growth-Oriented Feedback in 30 Seconds.

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When done well, this step builds both confidence and capability. Participants leave not just with input on their skills, but with a more balanced and realistic understanding of how they come across to others.

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Step 6: Repeat Steps 3–5

Lasting change comes from repetition. Without reminders, participants quickly get pulled back into daily routines and default habits.

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The most powerful tool here is structured reminders to practice. One effective way is to hold short monthly practice sessions, a kind of “skills gym” where participants revisit the tools, try them again, and get quick feedback.

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Repetition also builds confidence. The more participants experience small wins in a safe environment, the more willing they are to try the new behavior back on the job. Over time, this consistency leads to genuine habit change.

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Why This Matters

Too often, organizations treat workshops as one-time events. Participants leave with insights, but little changes once they are back at their desks. Real learning requires structured opportunities to practice, reflect, and receive feedback over time.

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When we design workshops around this process, participants do not just know the right behaviors, they start to choose them. And that is the foundation for building stronger teams and healthier organizational cultures.

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👉 If you would like to explore how to bring this approach into your next workshop or leadership program, I would be glad to connect for a free 30-minute consultation. A chance to look at your challenges and sketch out what might work best for your people.

Book a free discovery call. No commitment, just a real conversation.

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